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How to Boost Your Self-Confidence

  • Focus on what you can change/improve
  • Do more of what makes you happy
  • Practice self-talk
  • Accept your weaknesses and work on them
  • Surround yourself with supportive/positive people
  • Celebrate your small wins
  • Instead of comparing yourself to others, practice self-compassion
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6 Ways To Love Yourself A Little More

  1. Stop comparing yourself to others

2. Don’t worry about other people’s opinion

3. Remember your value doesn’t lie in how your body looks

4. Don’t be afraid to let go of toxic people

5. Make time for the little things you enjoy

6. Allow yourself some downtime

Source: @selftime

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Seeking Peace: My First Poem

For this peace I seek,
And hopes for my pains decrease
My brain shall now speak-

As high as treelength,
I’m searching for my peace,
I just need the strength.

My thoughts are scattered,
Tears flowing like I’m battered,
My heart is shattered.

Stuck in the darkness,
I’ll make it out regardless-
A soul so harmless.

Yes, the peace is there,
Hidden within the darkness near,
My mind I need cleared-

I seek peace deeply
Silent weeps so discreetly,
The light is near me.

My story I tell,
Even stuck deep down a well,
They’ll be no farewell.

#YouAreNotAlone

-Cherry and the Hoot

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You Deserve To Be Proud of Yourself

You deserve to be proud of yourself for bouncing back and realizing your worth after someone else didn’t.

You deserve to be proud of yourself for trusting your own timeline instead of borrowing someone else’s.

You deserve to be proud of yourself for staying true to YOU in a world that pressures you just to fit in.

You deserve to be proud of yourself for letting go of someone who made you feel lonely and unappreciated.

You deserve to be proud of yourself for pushing through a cycle of anxiety and coming out even stronger.

You deserve to be proud of yourself for holding onto a standard when it’s easier to lower the bar.

You deserve to be proud of yourself for not limiting your potential based on a previous life chapter.

Source: @selfcareisajourney

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What is Meant For You Will Be For You: Relationships & Careers

Sometimes in our lives, we tend to force or try to accept the things that are not nor were they ever meant for us. For example, we try to force or settle for unhappy or toxic relationships, friendships, and situationships with those who don’t deserve our energy, time, or presence. We force jobs or careers we once were excited about because of the exclusive title, great pay, inclusive benefits, or maybe even the relaxed working schedule. Perhaps some don’t have the grand title, salary, or benefits and would like them; instead, they have to settle for something else for now. Some of us settle for or force many other aspects of life when we shouldn’t. We do these things, but in reality, we are beyond unhappy with these situations and even ourselves in some cases. 

Previously, I had found myself dwelling negatively on the current status of my life; relationship status, job, living environment, mental health experiences, lack of motivation within my talents and goals, and everything else. But, if I’m being truthful, I believe it had much to do with my age and feeling too old to accomplish certain things- like birthing children because I’ve always been indecisive or even considering returning to school. I know, it sounds ridiculous because I’m only 30 years old, which is young to most, but it’s old to me- for whatever reason! So, recently, I had to stop for a minute, take a deep breath, and intensely reflect on my life and its present state. I had to reconsider all of the good I’m grateful for now versus the things I have yet to achieve. I had to understand and accept that some things weren’t ready to happen for me at the moment. 

Realizing that it isn’t my time yet in some areas of life is something I’m learning to come to grips with. Sure, it’s hard to accept, but at the same time- it is what it is. Or at least, that is what I try to tell myself to keep my mind off of it. All I can do is continue to aim for success and hope for the best outcome. Everything we think we want or desire is not always meant for us, nor should we force it. The one person we felt we loved for numerous years isn’t always meant for us. However, it is acceptable to love them from a distance. Likewise, the career we once received a degree, diploma, or certificate for is probably not meant for us. Therefore, seeking something else within our current interests would be ideal. It is simply that simple, and that is okay. Change is sometimes inevitable, and until we understand that entirely, we will feel like we’ve failed ourselves. Still, we shouldn’t because we haven’t failed- it just isn’t meant to be yet.

If you’ve recently experienced a bad break-up, heal yourself fully before bringing someone else into your hurt. Love yourself to the fullest and understand your needs and their totality. Know your worth and never allow someone to try to convince you otherwise because you, my friend, are worthy. Your dream significant other you deserve will find you when the timing is right. If that current job with an excellent title, great pay, and benefits isn’t for you, then find something else that better fits your life or personality and leave. Maybe some of us don’t have the grand title, salary, or benefits- be patient, and the desired position you deserve will become available when you’re least expected. No one should ever feel miserable at the workplace, especially when work tends to be a second home to most of us. 

The moral of the story is to refrain from settling or forcing things that don’t suit your current life chapter. Instead, be the best you at all times. Stay positive enough to push yourself towards your goals daily. Don’t settle for or force the things that aren’t meant for you right now. But more importantly, always remember your worth and live a little while doing so!

-Much Love Hooters,

Cherry and the Hoot

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Focus on Your True Happiness

Happiness is the state of being happy, and it can be associated with joy or satisfaction during the present moment or overall life circumstances. One’s happiness can come from another individual, a particular place, material things, foods, achievements, and everything else that makes people happy. But, while some may appear satisfied, are they or are they settling for what they think is happiness?

Lately, I have had a few individuals express that they aren’t happy with certain things; they have been experiencing family or relationship complications, hate their job, aren’t satisfied with their appearance, or their financial situation isn’t ideal. In addition, they feel their accomplishments of life are slacking or something else keeping them from enjoying themselves, such as lack of physical energy or even ambition. Yet, no matter what they may be going through, I still try my best to encourage and motivate them to be the best they can be. Regardless of what anyone believes, life is life, and as long as one is breathing, you have the remainder of your life to accomplish the things you want most out of it. Sure, it can seem like it is taking forever to find happiness again, but it is there- one must seek it.

Honestly, I believe true happiness lies within oneself, starting with self-love. How are you treating yourself and your well-being? How often are you celebrating your current accomplishments to remind yourself you can achieve the things you put your mind to? Have you ever taken a moment to sit down and brainstorm about what truly makes you happy? What about questioning your current state of happiness? Seriously, are you genuinely satisfied with your life? Self-love is key because how can you expect others or materialistic things to bring you something you can’t feel within yourself? Start with yourself, and everything else will come with ease. Learn to stop doubting and being hard on yourself because if you do not believe in yourself, who will?

Relationships with others can seem like a roller coaster at times. Each relationship, friendship, or “situationship” has its ups and downs, but never entertain one that offers more downs than ups. Let it go if it affects your overall mental health or happiness! That goes for family members, childhood friends, close friends, significant long-term others, etc. Life is too short to allow others to affect our happiness. If those close to us can not respect our boundaries, what we want out of life, or our time, they don’t deserve a space in our lives. Do not allow others to drain you of your peace and happiness. Do not allow others to make you feel wrong about what you enjoy doing or find interest in. Do not allow others to make you feel a certain way about things because they are unhappy with themselves. Be happy being who you are, do what you love, live a little while doing so, and be safe. Often people get caught up in these relations and begin to lose themselves because they’re constantly trying to please others. They forget the things that once made them happy, and they grow to settle. Do not settle or lose yourself for the satisfaction of others. We must learn to surround ourselves around those with good intentions who motivate, support, and uplift us. Healthier relationships lead to increased happiness in our lives, so refresh your associates if need be.

If you’re unhappy with your place of employment or need a career change, start thinking about what you want to do. Consider your top skills and talents in the process and research opportunities based on those qualifications. It would be ideal to weigh out the pros and cons of your options to be sure you are making a practical decision overall. Maybe you’re tired of working for others- write out a business plan and focus on starting a small business. Research other successful businesses, such as the one you’d prefer to build, and see what makes that business so unique. Think of ways to make yours more different and unique from the others. Anything is possible, but I suggest keeping your 9-5 until you have fully executed your plan and are off to a great start. You love your employer, but not your position or salary, and you don’t want to quit or start your own business. Consult with your supervisor and see what you can do to get promoted. Maybe you need a few more qualifications, have them point you in the right direction towards a step closer to the top of the company chain.

Being tough on ourselves about our appearance can be a challenge. If you’ve been down about your weight, stop stressing and lose those pounds! Self-motivation is critical because only you can work out for yourself. Create a daily schedule and incorporate a time slot that works best for you to work out. I find early mornings my preferred and most effective time to walk each day. Maybe you aren’t a morning person and prefer to exercise during the afternoon or night- whatever floats your boat, make it happen! Get into a steady routine, and you’ll be losing those pounds in no time. While working out can help us significantly, don’t forget to pay attention to your food intake because what you put into your body matters and affects your overall appearance. Cut back on the unhealthy and greasy foods, midnight snacks, and alcohol (for the drinkers), and watch those inches and pounds shed from your body. Of course, consistency is ideal and vital during this process.

For those experiencing unhappiness due to financial mishaps, I’m not suggesting getting a second job as most people do. More power to those who choose to work multiple jobs- I have done it twice before, and it is beyond exhausting. Yes, you have an additional source of income, but you’re literally working your life away. However, I will suggest better spending habits, saving whatever you can save, seeking a better and higher paying job opportunity, researching and investing in stocks or property, or researching the various sources for additional income. Create a source of income you can generate in your sleep- think smarter, not harder! Sure, it is easier said than done, but it is possible. You could even start a blog and create another source of income. And let’s not forget about starting a business, as I mentioned earlier, that you could start!

This post aims to encourage those currently experiencing a sense of unhappiness in their lives to go out and find happiness. Clearly, I can’t touch base on everything that may cause one to be unhappy, but I know I was able to touch on the main reasons. The principle is to start within one’s self. Learn to stop overworking by listening to your body when it needs a break and rest yourself. Learn to stay away from toxic individuals who do not benefit your life in any shape or form. Learn to seek better professional employment opportunities where your work ethics matter and are appreciated. Learn to stop being hard on yourself when you’re trying your best and already have so much to show. Big or small- overpraise your current accomplishments of life. Those are achievements you worked hard to complete- celebrate them every chance you get! More importantly, learn to put your happiness first. Put yourself first. Love yourself first. Improve your joy and keep it that way, all while living a little!

Much Love Hooters,

-Cherry and the Hoot

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World Teen Mental Health Day

Teenagers deal with mental health challenges as well, and it is vital they know it is okay not to be okay. Reach out to a teen today to check on their well-being, see if you can be of any help, and let them know they are loved.

Much Love Hooters,

-Cherry and the Hoot