Wellness Archives - Cherry and the Hoot

Imagine yourself coming up with such an excellent plan for your future. You’ve carefully brainstormed reasonable and doable steps to guide you toward your goals. You’ve thoroughly researched the pros and cons and weighed out whatever it is you want to accomplish. You created a bonus plan just in case things don’t work out. You’re more than willing to put in the extra work or make possible sacrifices to succeed. You’re excited and begin to execute the first few steps, but then something unexpected happens. Something you didn’t plan, nor was it revealed while researching. You were trying your best to stay in the groove of things, but suddenly, you’ve lost motivation.

Sometimes, there is nothing like deeply desiring something and lacking the motivation to accomplish it. The overall vision is there, and the focus is strong, but the drive to get there seems nonexistent. Could it be one is simply doubting themselves or their goals? Did a life event occur and change the setting? Or what about another individual being the cause of discouragement with their negativity? Whatever the reasoning may be, it happens, and that is okay. It will always be okay to give yourself a break, but you should try your best never to lose your true focus on the objectives you desire in life.

Sure, it would be ideal to achieve our goals overnight, but that isn’t realistic, and I believe this is where most of us go wrong at times. Not all of our plans are going to become successful right away. We create long-term and short-term goals, but many of us either forget or ignore the possibility of those failing, so we don’t make other options. But, honestly, who’s to say even those other options won’t fail us as well? In reality, we don’t know, but we have to go for it regardless. Things will not always move at the pace we’d like them to, but we can’t allow that to discourage us and lose our motivation.

Aiming for the bigger picture should always be essential for achieving our goals in life. Some of us may experience a few minor or even significant setbacks, but we have to keep moving forward as best as possible. Take as many breaks as you wish, but do not give up altogether if you can control it. If you begin to lose motivation, try taking a different approach, such as a simple lifestyle change. Speak with someone already in the position you desire to be in for guidance. Re-evaluate your steps and take a possible detour if need be, but do not give up because you have already come so far. I can’t express that enough. Keep your head above the water, take a deep breath, take your time, keep going, and you will succeed!

If I am being sincere, this topic came along because I am genuinely losing motivation towards this blog. It’s sad, but this is my truth to my supporters. So many people do not understand how challenging it is to be suffering from mental health disorders such as anxiety and major depression while trying to be there for others battling those same disorders. It is not easy, especially when I am already struggling to be there for myself. Yet, I keep trying my best to produce content even when I don’t feel like it because I know others look forward to my posts. I’m beyond grateful for that.

I push myself because I know the overall picture I wish to accomplish for myself and others. Those without a voice who can not express themselves adequately or feel as though they are alone when they aren’t- I am trying as hard as I can to be there for us. Additionally, working on this Cherry and the Hoot blog along with my personal and work life, I am quietly behind the scenes trying to develop additional opportunities for myself and my future. So it gets tricky, but I am not giving up on us. At times, it may take a bit longer to produce content, but I will always be here and forever appreciate my supporters’ understanding. No matter what, I’ll never forget to take some time to Live a Little in the midst of it all!

Much Love Hooters,

-Cherry and the Hoot

Uncategorized

Negative Coping Skills

February 2, 2022March 31, 2024 Cherry and the Hoot

When dealing with the lows of our mental health challenges, some of us tend to cope a bit more negatively. But, of course, at the time, we do not see them as negative coping skills but as temporary relief from our current reality. At that very moment, we want to feel a sense of numbness. So we cope in ways that give us a feeling of escape. We want to escape; from the unwanted thoughts, untreated trauma, hurt and pain, our struggles, disappointments, rejections, and broken hearts- everything. Craving for a “get-away” so bad, we tend to act more negatively and desperately, causing us to treat ourselves and loved ones horribly at times.

Below I have listed a few negative ways of managing our mental health challenges. If you tend to cope using any of these methods, please refer to the Positive Coping Skills post for healthier and safer ways to deal with your mental health struggles.

Too Much Alcohol

Many individuals frown upon alcohol use while others don’t. More power to you on whatever your preference is as long as you’re being responsible. Some intake alcohol during social occasions, while others intake for general pleasure or a temporary fix. Whatever your reasoning might be, too much alcohol (wine, beer, liquor, etc.) can have a significant impact on your mental health.

Though some believe alcohol helps reduce their symptoms in reality, that is not the case. Initially, it may cause one to feel relaxed, but it will eventually wear off, and your troubles will still be present or possibly worse. Intaking too much alcohol may affect one’s anxiety or depression by worsening their symptoms or even causing the illnesses if not already present.

*Drinking alcohol should never be a form of self-medication.

Use of Drugs

Like alcohol, drugs tend to be a choice of coping. Negative coping, that is. When people hear “drugs,” they assume hard drugs such as heroin, cocaine, meth, etc. The misuse of over-the-counter and prescribed medications is also considered a harmful coping mechanism for those unaware. It’s the desperate need for peace the users are craving. As one may become an alcoholic from the excessive use of alcohol, a drug user might become a drug addict, sadly.

I assume it’s the constant desire to be away from reality. As I’m aware, certain drugs tend to give some users an out-of-body experience. Yet, it is so easy to overdose accidentally. Also, like alcohol, drugs affect one’s mental and physical health, overall outlook on life, and so on. Drug use should not be a way to cope, and I hope those addicted can soon find some peace that’ll help them quit as quickly as possible.

concerned black couple sitting on bed in misunderstanding

Avoidance

Some of us tend to evade facing our actual problems, and we really shouldn’t. Although we may not want to, confronting our difficulties aids with resolving them, believe it or not. In return, that resolution equals a more stress-free and satisfying life. In the past, avoidance has for sure been something I was guilty of, but today, I’ve learned to deal with my troubles for what they are and do whatever it is I can to resolve or even avoid them from occurring again.

Face your problems and look forward to a more enjoyable life!

Excessive Gambling

Gambling seems to be a fun hobby for those who can afford to do so. Others, not so much yet, they do it anyways. Unfortunately, some people run into financial problems and then depend on casinos, lottery, sports games, and more for a lucky moment. But what happens when they gamble the money they barely had to begin with? They face other financial struggles causing additional problems in their lives.

How does this happen, one might wonder? At a casino, for example, they may start off winning high earnings, so at some point, they’ll pay more for an even more significant earning. But then, the gains slow, and their bank decreases. They notice they’ve now lost their earned prizes and now have less than what they started with initially. But, of course, they didn’t necessarily have the funds to begin with, so now they’re desperate and end up losing it all. That is how it happens.

Needless to say, if you do not have the money to gamble, then don’t. Save yourself and your pockets the additional and avoidable stress in your life.

Overeating or Not Eating

It is no secret that individuals regularly use or refuse food intake to cope. Though it is not an ideal way to manage, I understand why and how it’s a coping mechanism for many. Seriously, why not eat ice cream, pizza, or my favorite foods to help me feel better and help take my mind off the things that have been drastically bothering me or my life? At least, that’s how those who use food to cope might feel.

Overeating can easily and quickly lead to obesity, leading to lower self-esteem (along with other health complications) for many, I’m sure. But, when we look better, we feel better. Please remember that! Though I have never experienced overeating habits, there are times when my depression causes me to refuse food for short periods. It is a horrible symptom known as loss of appetite. I can go days without eating, and I know it is unhealthy, but I will continue to work on that, and so should you.

man wearing blue suit screaming near a wall

Bottling in Your Emotions

I will speak on myself for this one. Since I can remember, holding in all of my emotions has been the worst of my coping skills. For years I would continuously bottle everything in until, eventually, I would explode! It was much like adding Mentos to a 2-liter bottle of Pepsi. Or like filling a balloon with entirely too much air, and then BOOM! That was the story of my life before professionally being diagnosed with depression. People would call me “Crazy” and think something psychotic was wrong with me.

When you’re young, you have no way of honestly expressing yourself. So, unfortunately, you’re faced with dealing with your problems alone (at least that’s how I saw it) because if you do express yourself, of course, there would be repercussions. That was my life, that is how I coped with my youth struggles, and sadly, that is how I would manage in my adulthood. Not healthy at all, but as I grew, I learned to express myself every chance I got- how I developed the tagline, “Live a Little,” as my life motto.

If you bottle everything in to cope, STOP NOW! Instead, express yourself, use your words, take control of your life, be your true self, and Live a Little!

Self-Harm or Cutting

Based on previous research, teens typically cut as a form of coping. Because this is a transparency-filled blog, I admit I was one of those teens/adults. This is my first time publicly announcing this confession. I first started cutting in middle school. I began to cut my legs so no one would notice, and I would later move to my left arm over the years. The last time was in May 2018. No one ever found out nor suspected me of acting in such a dangerous manner. It was my secret.

Going back to the ‘Bottling in Your Emotions’ coping, it was a form of silent expression for me. I never understood why I did it, nor did I know it was something familiar in teens. It was just how I coped, and it worked for me- at least that is what I thought. I did not cut to try to kill myself, but I assume for some weird relief of my hardships. Although the last time I experienced a cutting episode was in 2018, I do not encourage it. I also hope those who experience cutting spells today will seek professional help to learn positive ways to cope immediately.

*Self-harm should never be used as a coping skill.

As I have only detailed a few primary harmful coping methods, many more exist. Therefore, please do further research to see if any of your management techniques are healthy for yourself or your mental health. If not, please consider more optimistic ways of managing and begin to heal and repair yourself. That is all.

Thank you for reading- if you find this post helpful, please share to help save a life.

Much Love Hooters,

-Cherry and the Hoot

Uncategorized

Let’s Talk About Depression

November 7, 2020 Cherry and the Hoot

Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. The condition is more common than some may think. It is curable but not always something one can “get rid of” quickly. For some, it may last a few weeks to a couple of months, and others may last more than two years. There are also chronic depression disorders that may be brought upon by triggers. Yes, depression can surely be avoidable, but that isn’t always the case in other circumstances.

As humans, we are all unique in a very particular way. We tend to have different ways of viewing life; appearances and fashion attire, religious preferences, interests in things, taste in foods and drinks, music, etc. Something we all hold as humans are feelings. No matter what anyone says, we all have feelings. Because we are so unique, those feelings cause us to react to situations based on our moods differently. For sure, we’d love for everyone to respond to negative happenings in a lively manner, but let’s be realistic- that’s impossible.

As humans, “staying positive” about everything is expected, but how can we? How can one stay optimistic after losing a baby during birth? What about someone who lost their job with a family to provide for and no money saved? How about the children at school bullied by their peers? The spouses unhappy in their marriages but stay for their children? The couple having complications with pregnancy? Losing one of your favorite persons? Or even the homeless man who once had everything going well for himself, but he lost it all? And let’s not forget the single parents who struggle to make ends meet with no help or anyone to call on. Some of these scenarios may not trouble every person that ever encountered, but these are challenging circumstances for others. Sure, we can bypass some situations, and other times, not so much.

The causes and symptoms of depression vary within each person experiencing it. As I named a few possible hardships above that may produce the illness, I’ll now explain some of the symptoms. Some of the most significant symptoms include; anxiety, increased or lack of sleep, loss of interest, lack of motivation, lack of concentration, hopelessness, irregular appetite, restlessness, irritability, stress, suicidal thoughts, mood swings, etc. That’s to name a few- imagine having to experience those symptoms all day for days, weeks, months, or years at a time. It makes people go insane, and some don’t quite understand that! It is a constant battle, and that is what the world needs to comprehend.

Depression can be so severe it begins to affect your life in terrifying ways. People start to struggle with keeping their relationships with family, friends, and associates healthy. Those individuals are probably unaware of mental health disorders. Performance at work declines significantly, sometimes causing one to lose their position or receive a pay cut. Not only that, if you’re apart of the customer service industry, your symptoms could cause negative interactions with consumers. Bad for business, I reckon. Some can go days at a time without getting out of bed or showering. Slacking to keep up your hygiene can become shameful, but it happens. When that does happen, people begin to lose their self-esteem. There are also those individuals who turn to alcohol and drugs to have a sense of healing. They don’t want to think about their troubles, and the temporary feeling of numbness is satisfying.

Everyone’s experience with depression is not the same nor as severe as others. Being able to “manage” your mental health is a skill in my eyes. I am personally someone who’s able to function with my depression to an extent. Most of the time, I tend to hide my symptoms to avoid worrying my family and close friends. Hiding them causes bottling in all of my troubles until the top bursts off. That is not ideal, but I’m working on that. I do not recommend hiding your symptoms to the point where you want to give up. One should not hide their symptoms but seek the proper treatment. You may never know if something can help you until you try.

The feeling of not wanting your family to worry is understandable. Being aware of specific situations can cause our family members to become very judgmental. Seriously, why would one want to hear sarcastic comments when already down? If one feels as though they cannot communicate with their close family or friends, professional help is always a more suitable option. A therapist would be beneficial for all of your venting and coping needs. They will be there to help you get to the bottom of things interrupting your life. They will also introduce you to various types of coping skills. My therapist helps by knowing all of my favorite hobbies and interests and then challenging me to perform them daily. Although I’m not always able to partake in these activities due to my “down” mood, they give me a sense of temporary happiness when I do so.

While seeing a therapist, you’re more than likely to be referred to a psychiatrist (vice versa). A psychiatrist will be there to assist with additional therapy and medication needs if your depression permits. Medications can include anti-depressants, mood stabilizers, sleep aids, etc. Everyone is not fond of medicines because they prefer to “self- heal,” which isn’t always the answer. It is a form of denial to an extent and causes a delay within actual healing. Treatment to get yourself “back on track” is nothing to be ashamed of and should be taken seriously. You may even learn a few new things about yourself during the process. For sure, you’ll know more about mental health disorders and could likely help teach others.

My job is to continue spreading the seriousness of mental health disorders and how to manage them. What works for me may not work for all, but it will help someone else in need somewhere. I’m confident about that, and I appreciate all of the feedback I’ve received from family, friends, associates, and strangers worldwide. Knowing that I’m able to give someone hope makes my heart smile. I wish the best to anyone experiencing or know someone who is suffering from depression. You are not alone; you have a purpose; you will make it through to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Much love and never forget to “Live a Little” even during your most challenging moments in life.

Tag: Wellness

Moment of Truth: Loss of Motivation is Real

Negative Coping Skills

Let’s Talk About Depression