Not all of us have encountered a close friend or family member during a mental crisis- someone crying out for help. Then, some of us have seen it firsthand, but how did you manage the situation? Or, if you’ve never experienced this, what would you do or say? Is there a right thing to do or say?
Let’s talk about it.
Someone letting you know they’re not okay does not necessarily mean you need to panic right away! Some people believe it could mean the absolute worst. However, that is not always the case in most situations. Not being okay doesn’t mean the same thing for everyone, so please keep that in mind.
Being in a crisis or not being okay could mean someone is having a terrible day, feeling overwhelmed with life, struggling with their mental health, dealing with grief, experiencing a panic attack, being in immediate danger, etc.
Of course, we want to act as soon as possible to relieve our loved ones of their crisis, but we have to thoroughly assess the problem to get to the bottom of things before panicking and making the wrong decisions. Someone not being okay varies based on the severity of their crisis.
One could be experiencing a crisis due to coming across something such as a spider. To most of us outside looking in, that may not seem like a big deal, but it’s a massive deal to someone with arachnophobia. Try to be as patient as possible, even with the smallest crisis.
Another example of someone experiencing a crisis could be a true cry for help- meaning they aren’t harmful to themselves or others, but they truly need assistance with getting back on track.
This could be someone who feels so lost they don’t know where to begin and need guidance. They don’t necessarily want to give up, per se, but they realize they need help and are willing to accept it. In this instance, having someone to hear them out could help. The individual listening may be able to provide resources, reassurance, love, or assistance that might never have been presented before.
Patience is key.
In a more severe scenario, someone who is in immediate danger would be a much higher priority, especially if they are at risk of harming themselves or others.
At this moment, they may feel completely trapped and hopeless, believing there is no better solution. Depending on the circumstances, this would be a time to seek further assistance- calling 911, contacting 988, getting emergency care, or staying with them until they’ve been in contact with a trained professional. Someone experiencing this crisis needs extreme gentleness, nurturing, judgment-free listening and understanding, patience, proper treatment, and more.
When assisting someone who has expressed they’re not okay, first offer to listen. Never tell them, “You’re fine.” Instead, try to figure out what is going on by asking them to express what’s on their mind or what’s been bothering them. Do not assume they want an overload of solutions based on what works for you. Instead, ask if they prefer for you to simply listen or would like help figuring out what to do next.
If you’re ever concerned someone is thinking about suicide, ask them directly. Do not panic- patience is key. If they are in immediate danger, seek emergency or crisis assistance.
For those who have never been there, it may be difficult to understand someone under so much pressure in life that they feel as though they no longer want to exist. It honestly isn’t for everyone to understand, and that is okay. We are all human, and some of us deal with certain challenging matters differently.
You don’t have to know what depression feels like. You don’t have to understand panic attacks. You don’t have to understand suicidal thoughts. You don’t have to have the perfect words.
You just have to care enough to listen.
Listening alone could help save someone you love deeply or a beautiful life in general.
Always remember: Patience is key.
If you’re experiencing thoughts of suicide or feel that you may hurt yourself, you don’t have to face that moment alone.
Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You can also reach out to someone you trust or seek immediate help through 911 or your nearest emergency department if you’re in immediate danger.