“Tomorrow is an opportunity yesterday can’t bring.”
-A.B.
Tag: Mental Health Awareness
Motivational Monday: Quote of the Week
Moment of Truth: Loss of Motivation is Real
Imagine yourself coming up with such an excellent plan for your future. You’ve carefully brainstormed reasonable and doable steps to guide you toward your goals. You’ve thoroughly researched the pros and cons and weighed out whatever it is you want to accomplish. You created a bonus plan just in case things don’t work out. You’re more than willing to put in the extra work or make possible sacrifices to succeed. You’re excited and begin to execute the first few steps, but then something unexpected happens. Something you didn’t plan, nor was it revealed while researching. You were trying your best to stay in the groove of things, but suddenly, you’ve lost motivation.
Sometimes, there is nothing like deeply desiring something and lacking the motivation to accomplish it. The overall vision is there, and the focus is strong, but the drive to get there seems nonexistent. Could it be one is simply doubting themselves or their goals? Did a life event occur and change the setting? Or what about another individual being the cause of discouragement with their negativity? Whatever the reasoning may be, it happens, and that is okay. It will always be okay to give yourself a break, but you should try your best never to lose your true focus on the objectives you desire in life.
Sure, it would be ideal to achieve our goals overnight, but that isn’t realistic, and I believe this is where most of us go wrong at times. Not all of our plans are going to become successful right away. We create long-term and short-term goals, but many of us either forget or ignore the possibility of those failing, so we don’t make other options. But, honestly, who’s to say even those other options won’t fail us as well? In reality, we don’t know, but we have to go for it regardless. Things will not always move at the pace we’d like them to, but we can’t allow that to discourage us and lose our motivation.
Aiming for the bigger picture should always be essential for achieving our goals in life. Some of us may experience a few minor or even significant setbacks, but we have to keep moving forward as best as possible. Take as many breaks as you wish, but do not give up altogether if you can control it. If you begin to lose motivation, try taking a different approach, such as a simple lifestyle change. Speak with someone already in the position you desire to be in for guidance. Re-evaluate your steps and take a possible detour if need be, but do not give up because you have already come so far. I can’t express that enough. Keep your head above the water, take a deep breath, take your time, keep going, and you will succeed!
If I am being sincere, this topic came along because I am genuinely losing motivation towards this blog. It’s sad, but this is my truth to my supporters. So many people do not understand how challenging it is to be suffering from mental health disorders such as anxiety and major depression while trying to be there for others battling those same disorders. It is not easy, especially when I am already struggling to be there for myself. Yet, I keep trying my best to produce content even when I don’t feel like it because I know others look forward to my posts. I’m beyond grateful for that.
I push myself because I know the overall picture I wish to accomplish for myself and others. Those without a voice who can not express themselves adequately or feel as though they are alone when they aren’t- I am trying as hard as I can to be there for us. Additionally, working on this Cherry and the Hoot blog along with my personal and work life, I am quietly behind the scenes trying to develop additional opportunities for myself and my future. So it gets tricky, but I am not giving up on us. At times, it may take a bit longer to produce content, but I will always be here and forever appreciate my supporters’ understanding. No matter what, I’ll never forget to take some time to Live a Little in the midst of it all!
Much Love Hooters,
-Cherry and the Hoot
Five Daily Mental Health Questions To Ask Yourself
Hooters,
Mental Health Awareness Week is upon us, and we all could use a few tips on improving our daily mental health. These five questions are important to ask ourselves daily because understanding how we feel and being true to ourselves will ensure what kind of assistance we might need to get us through the day. Of course, the answers will change daily depending on our moods, but keeping a log and staying on track can prevent us from falling into deeper levels of darkness. Ask yourself these questions, and watch your mental health improve by the day.
Five Daily Mental Health Questions To Ask Yourself
- What is my mood like today?
- What has been bothering me lately?
- Is my body receiving its basic needs?
- What do I do to bring myself joy?
- Who am I going to have on my side?
Much Love,
Cherry and the Hoot
Motivational Monday: Quote of the Week
“One of the hardest parts about battling mental health problems is not understanding the why. Regardless, I continue to push myself because this too shall pass.”
-Cherry and the Hoot
Negative Coping Skills
When dealing with the lows of our mental health challenges, some of us tend to cope a bit more negatively. But, of course, at the time, we do not see them as negative coping skills but as temporary relief from our current reality. At that very moment, we want to feel a sense of numbness. So we cope in ways that give us a feeling of escape. We want to escape; from the unwanted thoughts, untreated trauma, hurt and pain, our struggles, disappointments, rejections, and broken hearts- everything. Craving for a “get-away” so bad, we tend to act more negatively and desperately, causing us to treat ourselves and loved ones horribly at times.
Below I have listed a few negative ways of managing our mental health challenges. If you tend to cope using any of these methods, please refer to the Positive Coping Skills post for healthier and safer ways to deal with your mental health struggles.
Too Much Alcohol
Many individuals frown upon alcohol use while others don’t. More power to you on whatever your preference is as long as you’re being responsible. Some intake alcohol during social occasions, while others intake for general pleasure or a temporary fix. Whatever your reasoning might be, too much alcohol (wine, beer, liquor, etc.) can have a significant impact on your mental health.
Though some believe alcohol helps reduce their symptoms in reality, that is not the case. Initially, it may cause one to feel relaxed, but it will eventually wear off, and your troubles will still be present or possibly worse. Intaking too much alcohol may affect one’s anxiety or depression by worsening their symptoms or even causing the illnesses if not already present.
*Drinking alcohol should never be a form of self-medication.
Use of Drugs
Like alcohol, drugs tend to be a choice of coping. Negative coping, that is. When people hear “drugs,” they assume hard drugs such as heroin, cocaine, meth, etc. The misuse of over-the-counter and prescribed medications is also considered a harmful coping mechanism for those unaware. It’s the desperate need for peace the users are craving. As one may become an alcoholic from the excessive use of alcohol, a drug user might become a drug addict, sadly.
I assume it’s the constant desire to be away from reality. As I’m aware, certain drugs tend to give some users an out-of-body experience. Yet, it is so easy to overdose accidentally. Also, like alcohol, drugs affect one’s mental and physical health, overall outlook on life, and so on. Drug use should not be a way to cope, and I hope those addicted can soon find some peace that’ll help them quit as quickly as possible.
Avoidance
Some of us tend to evade facing our actual problems, and we really shouldn’t. Although we may not want to, confronting our difficulties aids with resolving them, believe it or not. In return, that resolution equals a more stress-free and satisfying life. In the past, avoidance has for sure been something I was guilty of, but today, I’ve learned to deal with my troubles for what they are and do whatever it is I can to resolve or even avoid them from occurring again.
Face your problems and look forward to a more enjoyable life!
Excessive Gambling
Gambling seems to be a fun hobby for those who can afford to do so. Others, not so much yet, they do it anyways. Unfortunately, some people run into financial problems and then depend on casinos, lottery, sports games, and more for a lucky moment. But what happens when they gamble the money they barely had to begin with? They face other financial struggles causing additional problems in their lives.
How does this happen, one might wonder? At a casino, for example, they may start off winning high earnings, so at some point, they’ll pay more for an even more significant earning. But then, the gains slow, and their bank decreases. They notice they’ve now lost their earned prizes and now have less than what they started with initially. But, of course, they didn’t necessarily have the funds to begin with, so now they’re desperate and end up losing it all. That is how it happens.
Needless to say, if you do not have the money to gamble, then don’t. Save yourself and your pockets the additional and avoidable stress in your life.
Overeating or Not Eating
It is no secret that individuals regularly use or refuse food intake to cope. Though it is not an ideal way to manage, I understand why and how it’s a coping mechanism for many. Seriously, why not eat ice cream, pizza, or my favorite foods to help me feel better and help take my mind off the things that have been drastically bothering me or my life? At least, that’s how those who use food to cope might feel.
Overeating can easily and quickly lead to obesity, leading to lower self-esteem (along with other health complications) for many, I’m sure. But, when we look better, we feel better. Please remember that! Though I have never experienced overeating habits, there are times when my depression causes me to refuse food for short periods. It is a horrible symptom known as loss of appetite. I can go days without eating, and I know it is unhealthy, but I will continue to work on that, and so should you.
Bottling in Your Emotions
I will speak on myself for this one. Since I can remember, holding in all of my emotions has been the worst of my coping skills. For years I would continuously bottle everything in until, eventually, I would explode! It was much like adding Mentos to a 2-liter bottle of Pepsi. Or like filling a balloon with entirely too much air, and then BOOM! That was the story of my life before professionally being diagnosed with depression. People would call me “Crazy” and think something psychotic was wrong with me.
When you’re young, you have no way of honestly expressing yourself. So, unfortunately, you’re faced with dealing with your problems alone (at least that’s how I saw it) because if you do express yourself, of course, there would be repercussions. That was my life, that is how I coped with my youth struggles, and sadly, that is how I would manage in my adulthood. Not healthy at all, but as I grew, I learned to express myself every chance I got- how I developed the tagline, “Live a Little,” as my life motto.
If you bottle everything in to cope, STOP NOW! Instead, express yourself, use your words, take control of your life, be your true self, and Live a Little!
Self-Harm or Cutting
Based on previous research, teens typically cut as a form of coping. Because this is a transparency-filled blog, I admit I was one of those teens/adults. This is my first time publicly announcing this confession. I first started cutting in middle school. I began to cut my legs so no one would notice, and I would later move to my left arm over the years. The last time was in May 2018. No one ever found out nor suspected me of acting in such a dangerous manner. It was my secret.
Going back to the ‘Bottling in Your Emotions’ coping, it was a form of silent expression for me. I never understood why I did it, nor did I know it was something familiar in teens. It was just how I coped, and it worked for me- at least that is what I thought. I did not cut to try to kill myself, but I assume for some weird relief of my hardships. Although the last time I experienced a cutting episode was in 2018, I do not encourage it. I also hope those who experience cutting spells today will seek professional help to learn positive ways to cope immediately.
*Self-harm should never be used as a coping skill.
As I have only detailed a few primary harmful coping methods, many more exist. Therefore, please do further research to see if any of your management techniques are healthy for yourself or your mental health. If not, please consider more optimistic ways of managing and begin to heal and repair yourself. That is all.
Thank you for reading- if you find this post helpful, please share to help save a life.
Much Love Hooters,
-Cherry and the Hoot
One of Those Days: A Real Post of Transparency
*Disclaimer: As the creator and owner of this blog, I stick to my word of transparency for my viewers. The following content may be triggering to some as I share the reality of my personal experience with depression and anxiety. Those are not my intentions.
If you know me personally, you know that naturally, I am a bubbly and happy-spirited individual. But imagine suffering from mental health complications and being forced to pretend to be okay when in fact, you are not. Imagine being surrounded by your loving family members and friends who all appear to be in good spirits while you are communicating back and forth with them and sharing a few outbursts of laughter here and there- everything seems perfectly normal to them. The sad part is they have absolutely no idea of the chaos going on inside of your scattered brain. They are well aware of your diagnosis but feel they have nothing to worry about due to your outer appearance. You are communicating and smiling; that means you must be doing fine, right?
This is my daily life.
I have been suffering from major depression and PTSD since my youth, and anxiety for over five years now, but those who do not know me personally have no idea unless I tell them. Most of the time my immediate family is hardly aware of when I am encountering an extreme low or any low at all for that matter. I mean, I guess they eventually figure it out when it’s almost too late, unfortunately. Things are this way because I am an expert at masking my low feelings. This method is not healthy, and I do not encourage it. Though in my circumstances, it is what it is.
One might ask why I mask the true feelings of my suffering? Well, it’s simple- I feel as though no one can help me. Not a professional, no family members, no close friends- simply no one. So if I know they can not help me, why bother to express or explain myself to them? It’s already hard enough when I do not understand my mental health. I simply do my best to cope in the most suitable way I can. Seriously, try explaining your mental health to those who have no idea. Try explaining it to those who think you can easily snap out of it. Or even to those who assume antidepressants will help when you know they do not work for you and never did. Oh, I will not forget about those who swear they have been through worse or the same thing. It makes no sense to me, but hey, that is life!
“But CC, you operate a mental health blog that encourages and inspires so many people.” I know, tell me about it.
I try my best to promote positivity even while I am down myself. I can not help but to continuously express to you all how much you are not alone. I am not a professional who has never experienced a severe mental health illness but assume they have it all figured out because of their educational background. No disrespect to any professionals because although I have been seeing them since middle school, I am still grateful for them to an extreme extent. I am an individual who has been suffering like yourself. I am an individual you can relate to well more than you will ever be able to with anyone else who has never felt like us. Just like some severely battling such illnesses, I spend more days wanting to give up on it all than you can imagine (even when I appear happy).
Yesterday was one of those days for me. Today, I woke up in the same mood- I felt the need to share. And no, I’m not suicidal and hope you aren’t either! These sudden feelings are random and untriggered the majority of the time. I hate it, and I’m sure some of you do as well. But together, we will get through this. I formed this platform for others like myself or those who know others like myself. This platform is for those suffering or feeling as if they have no one in their corner. Nobody to talk to about their crises. I formed this platform to avoid sugarcoating the realness, distress, misconception, and actuality of living with major depression, anxiety, PTSD, and whatever else. I formed this platform for people to know, I get it.
The point I’m making, all of my posts are not meant to be “happy go lucky,” so please expect reality and transparency throughout this journey. I’m not going to get on here and fib to you about being “okay” when I’m not. Today was just one of those days. If you had one of those days this week, remember tomorrow is a new day plus, you are not alone. I am hoping for the best of luck for the next week. Together, we will get through this and when we do, we will forever be the best versions of ourselves. That is all.
Much Love Hooters,
-Cherry and the Hoot
Positive Coping Skills
How do you cope when trying to recover from mental health challenges? Are you partying it up with loved ones? Are you moping around looking like you’ve lost your best friend? Do you try to reach out to someone for guidance? Are you coping positively or negatively? Below I have listed a few positive coping skills. Stay tuned for the negative coping skills (I prefer to not overwhelm you all)!
Explore the Outdoors
A breath of fresh air will always be a great way to cope with mental health challenges. There are countless activities or even simple things to get into cheerful spirits. You can begin slightly by taking a stroll through your neighborhood- invite a friend if you don’t want to be alone. A nature trail in a nearby park could help. Some of you may have a bicycle, go for a ride, and work out those legs!
For me, hiking or walking a nature trail is a great time to reflect on life and its challenging obstacles. I’ve always been a lover of nature (minus the annoying bugs) so that’s how hiking became one of my favorite coping tools. Some trails may seem difficult, but once you make it to the final destination with the breathtaking views, it’ll all be worth it. Try it!
Workout Your Stress
In the past, I’ve found the gym to be a wonderful place to relieve some stress. Of course, it can take a while to finally make the decision to get up and go…ehh. But once you’re there and working out it can temporarily reduce stress from your mind and body. Not only that but staying in shape helps with a clear mindset as well.
Okay, maybe you don’t want to give your local gym a visit. Exercise in the comfort of your home or a local park. It really doesn’t matter where you choose to work out, start somewhere, make it a habit, get in shape, keep a clear mindset, and thank me later! Do some kind of exercise for at least 15-30 minutes about five times a week and you’ll be better in no time.
Meditation and Yoga
Although I’m personally not a fan of yoga, it works well for others. I’ve tried it a few times and it just isn’t for me. However, I encourage others to give it an attempt because it seems to be a great source of meditation. I usually meditate by lighting a candle and putting a warmed lavender-scented eye mask over my eyes for about 15-30 minutes. You should try it, but don’t doze off and forget about your lit candle!
Another method to meditate would be practicing different deep breathing techniques- find a peaceful and calm place, focus on your breathing, and relax your mind and body. There are various breathing exercises to try, but I won’t elaborate too much. Google is your friend! Work on your breathing and you’ll be able to focus and cope more effectively.
Solve a Puzzle
The good news about puzzles is the fact that there are billions to choose from! There’s also a massive variety of genres making it possible for everyone to find one within their interest. Those varieties may include picture puzzles, word and number puzzles, coloring puzzles, mind puzzles, math puzzles, etc. I find picture puzzles to be a wonderful distraction when I’m trying to manage. Keeping busy is critical. Go out and buy yourself a new puzzle, my friend!
Get Crafty
Crafting is life. The possibilities of projects never end so literally anyone can discover something within their capabilities. Why craft? In my opinion, it is soothing, and when I’m in my “crafting zone” it temporarily takes my mind off of my stressors. I’ve been crafting for years and have found it to aid with reducing my anxiety and depression when it isn’t too late. It’s also given me a great way to express myself and it makes me beyond happy with the finished creation so I’m forever interested in crafting.
Painting a canvas, redecorating a room in your home, sewing a favorite article of clothing that may have ripped, cutting and sanding a piece of wood into something cool, coloring a page from a coloring book, repairing anything that may have broken around your home, altering something on your car, etc., are all forms of crafting. Go craft something now and share it with me because I’d love to see it!
Write It Out
Most people going through mental health challenges tend to feel alone or as if they can’t communicate with anyone in regards to their troubles. I’ve been journaling since middle school and have found it to be the most effective way to cope. It’s like relief getting it off of your chest without directly talking to anyone. *Self-help for those who choose to go through their challenges alone.
In journals, we can be real and honest to ourselves without judgment. We can also write down our long and short-term goals, upcoming plans, etc. They’re great for expressing ourselves and venting when we need it the most. Journaling also helps us stay on track of things, tracking our progressions, and whatever else we want to record. Pick up a journal and start writing today!
Read a Good Book
There’s nothing like reading a good book. I find self-help and awareness books to be informative, but if you aren’t willing to apply it to your lifestyle- why bother? Just like puzzles, books are offered with a variety of genres and choices. There is literally a wide selection of books for everyone. Literally. We have to make our availability more open for reading and improvement.
Create a Vision Board
Vision boards are rather cool to me. Although I’ve never made one, they seem to be a great motivational tool for those who need it as guidance. From what I can gather, they allow people to stay on track within their life purposes, objectives, and dreams. I’m sure creating them is amusing, but they just aren’t my “thing”, and I’m okay with that. I highly encourage anyone who creates a vision board to aim for their highest goal because I truly believe, we can do anything we put our minds to. With the consistency of course!
Host a Game Night
I have a friend who hosts a couple of game nights from time to time and I’m beyond grateful for her. I could be at my lowest and still attend game night to get a feel of relief and hope. The company of others being around somewhat ensures you are not alone. Yes, there are nights when I prefer to watch everyone play and watch from a distance- there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s literally the presence of others for me.
Get out of bed, clean up, and host a fun game night with your loved ones. If you prefer to get out of the house, go enjoy a game night elsewhere. Even if it’s at a local restaurant for Trivia night- go out and participate! Of course, I know it’s easier said than done, but it is still feasible. We all have to start somewhere!
Entertain Yourself
How do I entertain myself CC? Easy. Turn on one of your favorite upbeat and positive songs and dance or sing your heart out. It’s that simple! Sing to the top of your lungs and try to hit the notes you’d never try in public. Haha, I’m super guilty of this but fortunately, there’s no shame in my game. I can’t sing nor dance and I’m pleased with that so maybe that’s why I have no shame. Who knows? Music is a great outlet to relieve stress or our unwanted mental health symptoms.
Entertainment could also mean playing one of your favorite video games, attending a concert (if you aren’t in a deep depression), visiting a carnival or festival, watching a movie or show, and much more. Let’s not forget about those many puzzles we can choose from as well! Find some entertainment and let’s get out of this funk.
Take the Scenic Route
One of the most peaceful ways to cope is taking a well-needed drive. You don’t even need a destination! If you live in a large city, start driving along the country outskirts. Take the scenic route and your outlook of that entire town will change. You’ll be able to see so many things you never paid attention to before and it will fascinate you. If you’re anything like me (nobody can be me), you’ll enjoy the many photo-op opportunities to share or have for happiness visuals.
Gas up and head out for a fun drive!
Pick Up the Phone
A good phone chat has always felt refreshing. Especially one that made you feel better than when you initially made or received the call by the time it’s over. Phone calls give us the option to vent, express ourselves, obtain guidance or advice, reassurance, check on our loved ones, etc.
My favorite person to talk to when I’m down is my grandfather. For years I’ve reached out to him when I needed it the most. When we start our call I can either be crying or not in my usual bubbly spirits (typically when anyone knows when I’m down), and by the end of our conversation he will not hang up the phone until he hears me smiling or laughing. “Everything has a way of working itself out,” is what he usually quotes to me. Find someone that’s a call away to keep in your corner and uplift your spirits.
Clean and Reorganize
So there’s depression, and then there is cleanliness and filth associated with it. Deep depression causes some of us to completely forget about our everyday chores. Whether it’s hygiene, a junky bedroom, a sink filled with dishes, a messy bathroom, or whatever else- gather yourself and try to keep as clean as possible! A cleaner environment will for sure put us in a better mood when it comes to our mental health.
I must admit, keeping my car tidied during my mental periods is definitely a challenge. I’ll continue to work on that and you should as well! Good luck with your cleaning and organizing.
Self-Care
Self-care should be the best part of our mental health challenges, but unfortunately, we fall back due to our undesired challenges. Self-care can be as simple as showering or even taking a lovely bubble bath. Visit your local nail or beauty salon to get your hands, feet, or hair back together. If your finances are low or you prefer to stay in, go online to purchase the necessary instruments or visit one of your local dollar stores and pamper yourself.
Let’s not forget about facials- some of which can be achieved using regular natural household supplies. I’m thankful I was gifted with the talent to take care of all of my personal needs. Nothing like a good spa day. Always remember, when we look good, we feel good!
Of course, there are ample more ways to cope in optimistic manners. I detailed a few to give you all an idea of simple ways to cope. I can not guarantee either of these activities will help resolve your crises, but until then you should at least TRY, you’ll never know what may or may not work for you. Good luck with your positive coping skills!
Much Love Hooters,
-Cherry and the Hoot